Poker In The Thumb

I'll see your flat and raise you a totally tubular purse. Did you hear that White Rim of Evil?? I took your flat lemons and made purseade. Put your lips together and pucker up!

Yes indeed, functionality was not high on the priority list this go round. It rarely is in the name of high fashion, art, or glitz. Slap a Prada label on that baby and let's send 'er to press. Looks like leather, smells like rubber, but matches your little, sexy, black dress.

While we've broached the topic, I wouldn't really employ the purse's services on anything beyond your basic black ensemble. There is as much emphasis on both 'basic' and 'black' intentionally. Shoulder, hand, and crazy random phalangelical contact could induce unwanted grease transfer as of this writing. I'd sew in a warning label, but I'm not sure my weakened thumb pads could handle it.

Also, I shouldn't encourage driving while using this handbag. It has not been known to cause any vehicular mishandling or malmaneuverability; however, for optimal usage, both hands should remain on the purse at all times.

Manipulation of the zipper must occur well before action is physically expected. Hencely, should you intend on paying upon arrival at your destination venue either give yourself plenty of time to execute said zipper or better yet, keep your money in your pocket instead. As with any glitzy, fashionable, expose of art, the purse is really just an accessory to be savored not used.

Some practical trials are being introduced and the product may at some time become much more user friendly. You know, once we copy it, throw it into mass production, and strip the expensive label from it.

The ad campaign starts NOW! Current marketing strategies include, but are not limited to:

You're American not Dutch...make him pay!
Guaranteed theft proof.
More secure than a ULock
What's in YOUR wallet? I have no freakin' idea; I haven't seen it in over two months!