Tuesday, May 29, 2012

What In Damnation?

It was bound to happen eventually. But can we PLEASE keep this between us!?! So blue, it's true, I passed over into the forbidden zone today. After a decade of strength, today I found weakness. Chalk it up to geography. It wasn't my fault I tell you...I needed tampons.

$165 later I was allowed to leave the Evil Empire. It's a bargain, as they say, if you think about it. I am rarely released from the Giant at under $125 and I walked away with a 40 pound bag of dog chow. I didn't quite appreciate that this is really the size of 2 dogs.

And if you don't mind you could tell the Girl they have a bin, a rather large bin, of movies for $5. Movies you've heard of. Movies you want to see. Now I know this isn't $3...it's damn near twice the price, I can hear her saying it. But it's a movie title you might loan out. You may even watch it again yourself. You'll more than double the value just by getting it here rather than Big Lots.

Okay so, back to my shopping extravagursion....it hasn't changed much. It's just as amazing as I remember it all those years ago. Don't get me wrong, I still don't believe in the monster it became, but damn, the deals can blind you...yes, I know.... I still don't think you should buy an engagement ring there, you know, if you're shopping.

I got hardware items, feminine hygiene, dental, camping supplies, pet items, craft stuff, things that are STILL in the car! I'm telling you, if I had just discovered this joint I'd die just telling you about it. But sadly it wasn't my first time, and worse yet, it won't be my last. Those days are over, for so many reasons.

But really, you could spend the day in there! All damn day. If you couldn't afford AC...they give that shit away for free! Go on, pack a lunch, no don't, you can get one there. Just go. Shop. Walk. People gwak. Get your eyes checked. Yeah, they got that. You don't HAVE to support the Evil Empire, but I dare you not to buy something. In fact it's like a Pringle, I dare you to just buy ONE thing.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Trim Your Bushes Ma'am?

For those of you who don't know, I like to ride. And I hate to walk. Hiking should not be an activity high on your To-Do-With-Me List if you are taking notes. Unless you don't mind hearing me whine about how I "could totally ride my bike here".

Now I know you can't tell from this teeny picture, but at the tippy end  of my clippers here is a bush. A bush that needs trimmin'. She says. This is also something that should NOT be on my To Do List. I don't exactly understand the meaning of "a little off the top". It's easy! She says. Just enough so you can read the numbers. She says.

So goes life at the country house. While the Bride-2-Be earns my keep, I am left to fend for myself in the boonies. So I pack a sandwich, fill the canteen, grab the clippers, and begin my arduous trek out to the end of the driveway. Unfortunately my Mavic Ksyriums "should totally NOT ride here".

Much to my disappointment there are clippers to do the actual cutting and others that are merely decorative in the shed. Guess which ones I grabbed. So back to the house I go; at this rate I should be done by Friday. And depending on how restrictive I am about the cutting, the bushes are likely to need trimmin' again by then.

Oh yeah, the clipping.That old issue.  And my inability to stick with the plan. When the girl left this morning the bushes were red. They are now green. But you can read the address. You know, just in case any Dr Pepper delivery boys are in the area distributing free samples of Dr Pepper 10. It happens.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Ride and Seek

Either you already know me and are full well aware of this or you've been following along and can naturally assume...I've found the love of my life. Problem is she lives over there. And I live here.

Up to this point we have been juggling nicely. In this corner we have the city closet and the other the country cottage. I'm fairly certain all the pets would prefer to reside freely in the country...just maybe not all together.

And I think both girls would also like to reside in the quieter, calmer country, even together, just one of the two gets bored. I'll let you figure out which one. That one complains about lack of activity, lack of excitement, the bugs, the wind, the straight, flat, boring rides. Oh, and the pillowcases the other one keeps trying to pass off as actual fortified pillows.

But I'm, I mean, she, is trying. Okay, it's me, I'm the complainer. But let's focus back to trying. It was windy as hell yesterday...and I couldn't wait to get there and throw the bike to the wind. I'm gonna beat that beast! Now I knew the wind was behind me, but it so rarely is here. So I went with it.

And went. And went. And went. I also took the ipod. Oh, yeah, that is a must have addition. Both ears, I don't really want to hear the car about to run me down on those curvy country roads, sorry Baby. And no GPS, I'd rather get lost.

And lost, I got. Well, not really, I'm not sure you can get lost there. First there are all these seagulls all over the road. White. Yellow. Teal. Full on green. SB, I followed that once too. And the sun and the wind and the tried and true, satellite dish. Clear view of the southwest sky. You can't get lost, but you can get good and far from home, quick, depending on the direction of the wind. And I say, ride with it!

So I did. And then I looked at my phone and realized I was nowhere near home and the girl was about to get off work. I was about to mess the whole night up as I was out trying to turn my bladed spokes into a kite! So I snapped a picture of the cross sign nearest me and sent it. Come find me! And she did. If you did that to someone in the city (in their same neighborhood) they wouldn't have a clue as to where you were! I'm just saying...

Okay, now go on and grab yourself a seat for this one....Are you ready? I love this girl so much I am about to propose....

....a compromise.

From now on I head out on the bike and ride with the wind until I either run out of road or time. I send pix of street signs and landmarks to the girl until she gets off work. Then she comes to find me, like a scavenger hunt, throws the bike in the truck, and takes me out for a beer. Yeah, I think maybe I could get used to the country...there's just that small hitch of a job....

Did I mention she stopped and bought me chocolate milk without prompt? That's my girl.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Before I die...

I was finally ready this morning. Not to die silly, keep reading, you don't need to sign up. I decided it was time to forgive news. It's not it that treated me wrong, it's actually people like me, who don't pay attention. And I missed it. The News.

But I no longer know how to find News. I'm sure it's still out there. Seems like now more than ever it should be easy to find, but I'm still looking. I decided on a source and went to check it out.

Not so much. I read one story. And I got worried someone somewhere was tracking my tastes and then it would wind up on Facebook. But I kept going. I'm not really sure how to find what's in there though. I'm used to, and I know I'm dating myself here, holding up the paper and checking the headlines. When I tried to do that there, I got blogs. While I enjoy reading opinions, that's not what I was there to do. Do they still make news without opinions? Maybe not.

When I was a kid I used to watch my Daddy read the newspaper. I would grab the comics and try to be just like him. But my arms were just so short and holding them out there with the paper was so hard. If you had asked me then what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have said, 'able to hold the paper like Daddy'. I had no idea paper would become a fossil.

Anyway, then I found a story I wanted to read. I tried clicking on it. This Source needs me to sign up. Sign up? Oh no, that's how they git ya. Then they'd have my true identity and really start checking what I read. Then I'd have freaking advertisements flashing at me when I'm trying to read my HOTmail. No thanks. If I wanted that, I'd watch teevee. Oh, that's how people get paid? I thought they just slashed salaries and laid people off. Maybe I'm not ready.

Okay, so I saw the title, Before I die I want to.... It's an art project. I simply Googled it. Yeah, I know they are still tracking me. But I didn't have to sign in to get it. The Art Project: It's like Post Secret. I like that stuff. But I couldn't finish the sentence.

I'm not one to carry a bucket list. I like to make lists but I like even more checking them off. So I'm sure there's a ton of things I want to do before I die, but right here right now I'm doing them. I hate to go back to a previous post, but you can either wear the shirt or live the life. And yes, my Doctor, I suppose you could do both!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


There's been some discussion about money lately. Big surprise, but it's not the economy stupid. There's also been some discussion about the topics of my blogs of late. The girl points out it should be about biking not her.

Noted. Unfortunately since the quitting of the job (money) there's been no notable commute (riding) to speak of. And since she's the hub of my universe, there you have it. Besides, as I told her, I have an audience of two and they'd rather hear about my happiness than biking.

I ran into a friend today who asked about 9. I told him I quit. He smiled and had an unmistakable twinkle in his eye. I could have hugged him right there in the liquor store. THAT'S WHY! I don't know how, but this positive response is more rare than one would hope.

I guess one really needs to weigh one's happiness...and more often than not it's measured from a wallet. I'm not discounting that; in fact, I accepted that early on and planned accordingly. But I reached a point when I needed to make a change, so I did.

I don't have a family depending on me. And the bills are manageable. You let me know when our retirement funds match and then I'll worry...for now, I think I'm good. If you play the lottery to get more stuff then by all means keep working. If you play to quit your job you are wasting your money; save it and quit!

I'd rather spend the day doing nothing with the girl. Riding my bike through the forest. Working in the yard. Penciling my way through a crossword on the couch, girl leaning on my shoulder giving me the right answers. Cost = nothing; Value = priceless.

So you know what...you can keep your money. I have everything I need right here. She's proud of me. I did what I said. I'm living the life. You can buy a Life is Good shirt, or you can just Make Your Life Good. It's YOUR move.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

She Makes It Rain

I am certainly aware that lately the girl has been the object of my blog. And she's a super good sport about it, but I might add, she asked to be written about.  I still feel compelled to show the other side; she is after all the girl for a reason.

See, she has what it takes. What it takes not only to put up with me, but what it takes to make me happy, which comes with its own set of challenges. But, she's getting it done.

We like to say we discovered each other. You see we've known each other for more years than I care to admit. We've crossed circles, had dinner, shared a laugh or two, but never knew each other. I guess we were doing what we needed to first. And clearly life just lined up perfectly this year...unless you really believe that crap about posting on my blog my list to Santa and she wound up in my stocking.

It's been fun 'dating' online, really taking the time to get to know each other, developing a foundation of listening and communicating before jumping in. It's even fun dating long distance (it's really not that far). Most of all it's just fun, period.

She listens to me. She tells me stories. I trust her. She shares her life with me. We take turns doing everything, from driving, to dishes, to writing little ditties. She laughs at me. I laugh at her. She is my best friend.

I can't begin to tell you about great she is, but I think she knows. You may not even care, but I had to say something. She is amazing and I repeat a good sport. She takes care of me when I'm not even looking, but eventually I see.

I realize my recent life choices probably made us possible. It makes my decision just that much sweeter. Once upon a time I wanted to see more sunsets. Turns out I like listening to the birds at 6 in the morning too. Right now the best I can do is make it drizzle, but it's still worth waking up next  to the girl...despite the cheap ass pillow ;)