Tuesday, July 15, 2014

If The Shoe Fits

Recently I rediscovered stick-ups. Thank god. You remember these things right? The little round things that you twist? Made infamous in the pantyliner commercial starring the cat with the crazy feet? You may have missed that one, it was by invitation only.

Anyway, back to my stinky closet. Not too long ago dad and I made this amazingly cool closet that I thought I might get to use. It had shelves on the outside of the closet where I thought I might stash my stinky shoes.

I was wrong of course. The closet was created because I got married. Even though that's one of the perks of a same sex relationship...doubling your wardrobe...it's still nice to have your own space. Hence, the new closet. But you did understand I have a wife now? Yeah, so she got the closet. I got the boot, so to speak.

So back in my cramped closet, I have my jeans on a book shelf, my oxfords on a hanger, and my shoes shoved in a milk crate. I'm almost positive there's a warning on the side threatening prosecution if it isn't used properly, which clearly, it is not.

Just so we are on the same page, this is her closet. See, isn't it cool? But this post is really about stinky shoes. Scratch and sniff above.

Let's skip to the chase. So this is her closet and when I go in there it smells like her. When I go in my own closet it smells like warehouse feet. Maybe I smell like warehouse feet, I don't know.

So I've tried Lysol and dryer sheets and now I have a 44 cent stick up that smells like a Hallmark store.It's only slightly better.

But let's be honest, my wife loves me. And she wants me to be happy. I'm sure she doesn't want my nice clean clothes to smell like warehouse feet. Or me for that matter.

 So she decided to share the shoe rack. And not to call the girl out on anything but you see how she has cleared off the entire top shelf of the rack above right? It's the shot in the upper left corner. The other six shots show various areas of the downstairs floor space that has ironically, all of a sudden, been taken over by randomly placed shoes! Go figure.