Wednesday, November 30, 2011


So the mechanic says, what's it doing?  Me:  it's not printing.

It all started yesterday.  That's when my printer and my laptop started this ugly feud. First the printer wasn't speaking to the computer.  Then the computer stopped talking to the printer. They both worked fine just not together.

I gave them a moment to think about the ink. But the computer thinks it's just fine on its own as does the printer.  It was a tennis match of it's-not-me-it's-you and we were stuck in deuce hell. Those independent all-in-ones are difficult to deal with you know. And computers, well, they would just rather get the latest, greatest model and be done with it. Who wouldn't?

So today I gave in.  Clearly if these two couldn't get along and communicate the relationship was over.  I don't have time to deal with the bickering. ERROR ! X ! Fine.  The printer would take custody of the ink and the computer was welcome to stay.  I would find it another colored partner (can we say that?)

But here's where it gets complicated.  Apparently the car sided with the printer. So when I introduced the key to the car the Civic stuck out its tongue and said ppttthhbb.  It did, it sounded just like that. ppttthhbb  Huh.  So how do I get a printer home now?  I wasn't really looking for a fits-in-my-backpack-variety printer.

So I call AAA.  I'm fairly certain it's not the battery...everything seems to work fine in the car; I know it sounds like the printer.  Really, WHAT is going on?!  Back on the phone, maneuvering through the automated menu proves too much for the phone and it dies.

I finally get confirmation that it's not the car battery and the tow truck comes.  My shop went out of business so I'm heading to a gas station. I throw a bike in the car and hitch a ride with my tow.  That is AFTER, I find a bike with two air filled tires.  YES, that too.  How's that for funny?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

More Signs

It was that kind of day.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Pee Careful

People always warn you about doing certain things alone.  "It's not safe!" they scream.  Camping, hiking, biking....but the thing is if you sit around waiting for someone to play with you get old waiting.

Here's the other thing...people never warn you about other things, like stepping off a curb, getting in an elevator, or peeing alone.  In fact they even create little stalls to keep the other people out, for example, while peeing.

And would you rather get hurt freestylin' down a singletrack mountain bike trail or relieving yourself in a public restroom?  How'd I get this scar?  Well, that one I got when the locker room stall exploded like a transformer onto my head.  Mmmm....lacking a little je nais se quoi, no?

Besides, I'm careful.  When I ride solo, I ride cautious.  I don't go all out.  True, today was a little harder riding hurt AND solo, but when your friends are all at work what can you do?  Yes, the doctor earned his degree...I AM hurt.

My fingers are dragging.  Good news is driving is harder than riding because of the position of my elbow.  However, braking...problematic, on the bike that is.  You see, I brake with two fingers while holding on for dear life with the other two.  Those other two...somewhat unresponsive. C'est la vie.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Nerve

So the bike did fine today, finally.  I even drove the crank into a rock and she stayed solid.  The rider...not so much.  My crank is a bit tingly, but you probably already knew that, it's not new.

What's new is the diagnoses.  Yes, my work injury RSVPed diagnosis plus one.  I'm sorry doc what? Triangular Fibrocartilage Complex AND Ulnar Nerve Entrapment?  From a bathroom door?  You know I've always seen those women who use a paper towel to open the door...I. Had. No. Idea.

He's good.  I wanted to talk about my right wrist.  The cracking concerned me.  Yeah, yeah and tingling in the left hand.  Can we get back to the right wrist?  He threw big words at me to shut me up.  I said, huh, that sounds bigger than the culprit.  He said, you're no dummy.

Now tell me about the left hand...Does it hurt when I do this?  This?  How bout this?  No.  But will my wrist lock when it pops like that?  Clearly, I'm still obsessed with the wrong extremity.  He points out that he's way more concerned about the left.  Yeah, that's what everyone says.

He tries a few party tricks with me.  Cute.  He causes my arm to go weak.  Neat.  Tingly.  Wow.  Numb.  Cool.  Can you stop please? I never mentioned the funny bone theory, he found it all on his own.  Told me, that's what he's trained to do.  He's no dummy either.

Really?  Really, really?  I'm really hurt?  I might not need surgery? Whoa, slow your roll there doc. This was just a check in; there was nothing really wrong.  I feel fine. See, fine. It was just a door!

So to recap....I've got Carpool Tunnel in my elbow.  I don't even drive a car! Oh, and some torn cartilage in my wrist.  From a bathroom door.  But the bike is fine. And I am officially scared of public restrooms now.  Thanks.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Left Humerus

There I was doing my business...relax, relax, they aren't bullet holes.  And I wasn't shot, but I was injured.  Now where was I...

Right, there I was with my drawers in one hand and a door in the other.  It's not often you come out of a public restroom with your underpants in your hand, but it's even rarer that you come out with the door on your head either.

That's right!  The door was in my hand and not in the I'm-going-to-exit-the-stall-now kind of way.  More like don't-let-this-freaking-heavy-door-land-on-my-head-neck-or-toe kind of way.  I'm not entirely sure how, but I sort of  'caught' the door and 'placed' it on the floor.  All while standing there in my underpants!

Makes a girl think about wearing long pants to and from the actual locker in the locker room when visiting the wash closet.  Imagine getting knocked out by a stall door and having your boss come in while you're lying there out cold in your panties on the nasty bathroom floor.  But then, who expects to get attacked by  a stall door anyway.  Could scare the shit out of you....sorry couldn't resist.

But this is truly no laughing matter.  And you can clearly see, the hinges are still in tact.  This wasn't me pulling the door off the hinges, the damn anchors came clear out the wall!  So this was the door AND frame crashing in on me as I was exiting the bathroom, yes, yes, IN my underpants!

And it still hurts.  There is some tingling in my upper arm and hand.  I've got some pain in a couple fingers when I grasp something in a certain way.  Nurse Judy says tingling ain't good. But I don't think it's that bad.

There's just this spot on your elbow, you know the one, it drives the ill-named funny's a bit sore.  When you push on it, as is normal, it causes a pins and needles sensation down your arm.  Well, that, is on steroids! It's more like pitons and railroad spikes.

The ride home was a tad uncomfortable.  My arm was tired and sore.  Tweaking and twisting a handicapped stall-sized door is no easy feat.  But a girl's gotta get home.  Where it's SAFE to pee in private. Phalanges still tingling...

PS....HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR J! (from me and Nurse Judy)