Tuesday, May 29, 2012

What In Damnation?

It was bound to happen eventually. But can we PLEASE keep this between us!?! So blue, it's true, I passed over into the forbidden zone today. After a decade of strength, today I found weakness. Chalk it up to geography. It wasn't my fault I tell you...I needed tampons.

$165 later I was allowed to leave the Evil Empire. It's a bargain, as they say, if you think about it. I am rarely released from the Giant at under $125 and I walked away with a 40 pound bag of dog chow. I didn't quite appreciate that this is really the size of 2 dogs.

And if you don't mind you could tell the Girl they have a bin, a rather large bin, of movies for $5. Movies you've heard of. Movies you want to see. Now I know this isn't $3...it's damn near twice the price, I can hear her saying it. But it's a movie title you might loan out. You may even watch it again yourself. You'll more than double the value just by getting it here rather than Big Lots.

Okay so, back to my shopping extravagursion....it hasn't changed much. It's just as amazing as I remember it all those years ago. Don't get me wrong, I still don't believe in the monster it became, but damn, the deals can blind you...yes, I know.... I still don't think you should buy an engagement ring there, you know, if you're shopping.

I got hardware items, feminine hygiene, dental, camping supplies, pet items, craft stuff, things that are STILL in the car! I'm telling you, if I had just discovered this joint I'd die just telling you about it. But sadly it wasn't my first time, and worse yet, it won't be my last. Those days are over, for so many reasons.

But really, you could spend the day in there! All damn day. If you couldn't afford AC...they give that shit away for free! Go on, pack a lunch, no don't, you can get one there. Just go. Shop. Walk. People gwak. Get your eyes checked. Yeah, they got that. You don't HAVE to support the Evil Empire, but I dare you not to buy something. In fact it's like a Pringle, I dare you to just buy ONE thing.



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