If you know me, you can see today is a momentous day; change is at my fingertips. This is a commitment. Strap me in and call me a driver, I got me my first EZ Pass! Get down, turn around, go to town, Boot Scootin' Boogie.
If you are one of those lucky drivers who wound up behind me at a toll booth on 95 or the Bay Bridge, I regret to inform you your free ride is up.
Some of you know I've been a hold out for the EZ Pass not only for my union ways to keep the man (that's a little m) in manual labor but also because I like paying for the guy behind me. It's a simple, unexpected, inexpensive gesture in the sea of a bottlenecked traffic jam. It's the least I can do. Besides I'm about to cut you off as the lanes narrow.
But today as I sat at the MVA with my lottery ticket in hand awaiting to yell BINGO when my number was called, those generous days faded. See, I'm prepared to make the trip often. And in my rush to watch the sun set I don't have time to slow down and pick through cash. EZ Pass GO!
Oh, and of course there's that issue of my new NPO salary. I'm giving away free bikes, I can't be paying your tolls any more. I'm sorry, I really am. You should have thought of that the past decade while you sat at home watching free TV, tipping your paperboy and giving a little something extra to the mail carrier at Christmas.
Okay, now can someone please help me with this plastic contraption? I've taken it out of the package and read the directions but I can't seem to find the handlebar bracket. Does that come separately or can you only mount this thing on a Bell helmet?