Thursday, July 15, 2010

Colossal Fossil


Does a GPS work inside a house? I got the semi-self guided tour. Like two kids living out a Night in the Museum we tore out of the movie screen, literally.

The bedroom ceiling....oh you had to be there. The baby grand in the sunken main room. The wooden beams in the sitting room. The pool designed as a fountain. The guest shower faucet with a list of numbers...70 80 90 ....I am NOT kidding.

The kitchen: which one? The self described 'presentation kitchen' that had knobs on every cabinet? The one across the way lined with refrigerators? Or the one when you entered that looked like it served a fancy booth very ungreasy spoon?

Movie Theater: Uber-plush chairs lined up as if they were mocking the American movie house. I mean for the price of a ticket today, you should really get ALL THAT.

Alack...I have buried the lead again. I mean a home theater is nice, but middle class common. Let's talk about the candy counter and popcorn machine flanking the lobby. Yes, this home theater has it's own lobby smack dab in the middle of the house.

Oh, I could just live in the stairway! No really, you could put my house in the actual stairway. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but you could put my living room there for sure!

Oh hell, if I lost a cat in that joint it'd be dead before I found it. Guess I'll keep my spare 17mil and stay put. For the sake of the cats, that is.

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