Monday, May 4, 2009

It's So Hard

It's true. I have commitment issues. I can admit it. There is a fear of falling. It is the fuel to my on again/off again relationship.

Currently, it's ON again. For how long, we shall see. It's definitely a love/hate relationship. Sometimes it is abusive.

When we are together it's hot, sweaty, heart racing. I often feel like it doesn't matter if I come, however. I'm not gonna lie, it hurts. It always feels better when it's over. Sometimes I'm sore the next day. Sometimes I have trouble walking.

I like it slow and controlled. I am self conscious when others watch. Yes, I need to watch my form, but I hate all the mirrors. I know it would be much more enjoyable if I were more flexible. I know.

And then there are the days when I'd rather just sleep in. Sometimes I want to roll over and just cuddle. Nothing doing, this is your Booty Calling....

Right now I am giving this arrangement a go. For now I will focus on staying strong. I don't really love Gym, I just use him to look good.

This shit don't grow on trees you know...but it does grow on rocks!

1 comment:

James said...

That's what I like to see!! It will be like the old days!! And you're not limited to you and your partner, sometimes it can be group fun!