Man, times are tight. I can remember the days when Santa came to your house. Sleigh, reindeer, the works. Now apparently he has the mail carriers leave 'we missed you' slips at the door.
Really? At. The. Door? I finally have a working chimney and no red felted fat man is squeezing through it? But I had it cleaned! I'm making cookies. There is beer. There is always beer.
Come to think of it I don't remember ANY chimneys in the old trailer park. How exactly did I expect Santa to get those toys under the tree every year? Then we moved to a house with a chimney but no fire place. WHAT, Santa is STUCK in the interior of the house? Start chipping at the drywall! Well, who would put a fake chimney on top of a house anyway??
I was a little worried about picking up an undisclosed package at the post office. And this, the busiest day of the year. It was certainly not high on my WANT TO DO LIST. But the least he could do was give me some idea of dimensions...I do ride a bike after all.
I realize you have a big sleigh...or perhaps a UPS truck I'm thinking....but all I have is a handlebar. "Bigger than a breadbox." "Heavier than a bowling ball." You don't have to ruin the surprise, but can a girl get a hint?! The slip of paper didn't play the Lexus ditty so at least I knew it wasn't a car. Do you know anyone who has ever gotten one of those big red bowed cars??
There was a sigh of relief when the postmaster brought this. There could have been an early Christmas at the Woodmoor Post Office. But really Santa? It's not like you have to worry about high gas prices!! Bring back home delivery!
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