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I was watching Hoarders last night, you know the show where they turn peoples' homes inside out and then the family goes trailer park on each other over the trash in the yard...

Well, I've only successfully gotten through a handful of episodes. My neighbor tried to turn me on to this show over a year ago and I just can't make it through the whole thing. I have the urge to purge before segment three.

So last night I went upstairs and emptied every drawer, closet, crate, and nook and cranny of cloth I could find and dumped it in the middle of the downstairs floor. I once heard, I think Teri Hatcher, say she has her family clean by removing everything from the room and then taking it back piece by piece.

This is genius! That way you have to WANT to put it back. It doesn't work on Hoarders, but, although that pile overwhelms me, I'm far from landing a spot on TV. It just might work.

Reminds me of a time when I was about 9 years old and my dad got tired of telling me to clean up my playroom. What? That's the play at home version of the trash compactor scene in Star Wars. Go on, get in the closet and push on the walls, now scream out like Chewbacca...

So he took a HUGE snow shovel and relocated everything in the room to the basement. Then he informed me when trash pick up was. I've been good about it since, except for clothes. And maybe bikes.

And the clothes have always been a problem. It might be inherited. But that's not an excuse. My goal is to wear it or pare it. The problem is the wardrobe lifestyles...there's the punk ass biker, emergency business, I work in an ice box, angry lesbian, single white female, runner, climber, sexy fiancee..."I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint...."

A little bird.dog told me girls need clothes. We like variety she said. Cute. This coming from a girl with 27 pairs of cargo khakis (that I can SEE). But look, the grease marks on these look like a monkey, see there's the head.... (bird.dog: this is where you laugh at yourself)

So, I embraced today. Who I am right now. I kept the punk ass, emergency biz, ice box variety and donated the rest. Well....almost. My inner angry lesbian still pokes out every now and again. Next up....SHOES!