Cookie Monster

Oh shit. No joke. Last night I was scared out of my pants. At least I think I was wearing pants...then again, maybe not. I was home alone, late at night, watching teevee. Ah, Home, Late, WATCHING teevee...those words still excite me.

Anyway, I was there on the couch when I heard a disturbing noise. Outside. RIGHT outside my window. I was scared frozen. I don't know if the door is locked. I sincerely doubt a bat mysteriously appeared beneath my bed. I was home alone. Unprotected. With a mysterious noise a-clatter outside.

It wasn't just me. The cat was crazy insane. Like something was OUTSIDE THAT WINDOW. She was in the window, darting across the house, in the other window, back again. Parker please STOP THAT you are NOT HELPING THE SITUATION.

The morning revealed the dramatic matter. A plastic cookie container loose in the yard. Yeah, I suppose that could have caused the disturbing noise the night before, sure. But before you sling your biting judgements...it wasn't just a cookie container blowing in the breeze....there was definitely something UP IN that cookie container.

I'm not saying there was a peeping Tom standing outside my window peering in my personal space hoping to find what I stashed in my panties...all while snacking on cookies...but it COULD have happened. Good Lord, the image of that!

Alas something was digging its nose all up in that plastic container that we know. Parker was...On. It. And she is no Pit Bull I know, but if that thing came flying at me in an open window I wouldn't stick around to lick the inside of an oreo. Dessert destroyed.