rEvolution

Be still cantankerous Christians, I cede to the fight. You must be right. We couldn’t have possibly evolved from apes; we are not yet as smart as they.

Today I paid witness to a greater recognition in the Great Ape Yard than the bustling streets of DC. The Distracted Citizens were out in force. Tis the Season.

It is the atmospheric phenomena residing in the chemical compound H3At, more commonly known as …’it’s getting hot out there, so drive like no one knows.’ Perhaps it’s the malignant exhaust fumes that disorient the cognitive function?

Whatever the case may be, I’d rather be dropped in the monkey pit (I know, I know JB, but I love that cute little look of disgust :) than left to fend for myself in a bike lane cocoon. Sincerely, with Gorillas I’d have a better chance.

Dodging the unsignaled turns, pothole pitfalls, door attacks, and randomly ‘parked’ cars is reminiscent of a childhood game, or is it Russian roulette? You say either, I say either; 6 of one, it’s all games and fun until….CARS ATTACK!!

The way you haphazardly abandon your tired tin can, flashing in my bike cocoon, indicates a greater understanding, however. Maybe, just maybe, we humans are as trainable as apes.

And just like the gorillas trapped in their environs, The DCists show no signs of recognition, until they do. If only I knew the universal autoistic signal for “Tommy, can you see me?”

Well until then, I do know the universal signal for ‘Get the @#%* outta my lane!’