NO CROSSWALKS

WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE CAN HURT YOU

If you won't do it for me, do it for them. Please SLOW DOWN. You can't see as well as you think especially while speeding. This is a herd of deer along the side of the road. There are SEVEN of them standing right there.

Cured?

How much do you suppose that mound of salt in the road actually costs? What!?! You haven’t seen it? Well be careful or your car will end up in the shop. It's not Morton’s or even those melting pellets from the local hardware store. We’re talking hard core government contract salt here. Big Bucks. Unused. Piled in the street. Rusting our metal, creating dangerous chasms in the pavement, opening an occasional water main. We should use our salt for good not evil. A better cure is spending our tax dollars instead of throwing them away. I long for the days when the salt on my face is of an organic, homemade variety. Anybody seen spring?

CyclOne

Cruising down 14th, I got sucked. In that dead man zone beside parked cars where bikers get ‘doored’ when the bike lane funnels down to what I call the city soda straw, I was ‘pulled’ by a Speeding Unit Violator (SUV). It was some kind of weird, invisible wind vortex created, I suppose, by the speed of the SUV, the tall buildings, and the encroaching parked cars. I could distinctly feel it tug at my speed. It was like when your buddy grabs your shirt rollerblading to propel himself forward against your speed; although, I don’t suspect the SUV gained anything but ground on me. At least I hope not since he narrowly averted disaster at the next intersection.

One Less Car

Four More Jerks?
I'm allowed on almost any road at any time. And still, I've been cursed, hit by flying objects, even run off the road. I've been pulled out in front of, cut off, actually hit from behind by an automobile. I've been honked at, yelled at, lectured about misinterpreted traffic laws. Tonight I was told it was 2 AM. Yes, I know, thank you. Why am I on the road? Why are you?

Lunarcycle in case you forgot to look up

VELO

I live in DC and I LOVELOVE my commute. It's all about the bike. Is it the environment? Gas prices? Exercise? It's the moon Stupid. It's never too late to ride.

I'm Here, Steer Clear, Get Used To It

And then I saw red. There, beneath the shadow of the SHARE THE ROAD sign, I almost met my demise. Picture the image of a pickup pulling out in front of a bike to get to the other side of the road. I guess, though, I'm the chicken; in the contest of flesh vs. metal, I backed down. I sensed his hesitation, anticipated his poor judgement, and prepared for the oil slicked, wet road as best two tires can. I narrowly missed the idiot truck, barely avoided the back wheel slippage, and came to a complete stop in the middle of the intersection in complete disbelief. Not 30 seconds later came the in-case-you-missed-it replay in the form of impatient white van. And, for those of you scoring, van vs. pedal pusher yields the same result. Just so you know: "BEEP!" when used from behind apparently translates into, "BEWARE! I AM ABOUT TO CUT YOU OFF". And so, Vehicular Indiscretion #2, cut me off after passing dangerously close and turned right right on top of me...just like he said he would. If only I knew English Driving Horn.

COLORBLIND

We worry about global warming, gas emissions, and carbon footprints as we wait for an elevator to carry us up one floor. We use disposable cups, plates, and silverware as we debate a plastic bag controversy over lunch. We would rather buy bottled tap water than raise taxes and demand better city water. We talk about mass transit, bikes, and hybrids, but complain about time and money as we sit idling in traffic day in and day out. We get angry when funds are 'wasted' on bike lanes and pedestrian bridges. We are frustrated by cyclists in the road. We vote for CHANGE and refuse to BUDGE. What I see as GREEN makes others see RED. Just once, when a driver rolls down a window to yell at me on my bike, I'd like to hear, "Hey, thanks for not driving!"

Ode to my lobster

My love, some people call me crazy, but not you; you are always along for the ride. When you hold my hand I can't help but think you fit like a glove. On those cold winter nights you are always there to keep me warm. And you are always looking out for me....I remember that one time when I was about to obscenely gesture to some rude driver and you caught me and instead it looked more like some vulcan peace sign. Thank you for keeping me at my best. In the words of Phoebe on "Friends", you dear, must be my Lobster. Happy Valentine's Day.

Meep Meep

Yesterday I tackled the winds. I was speeding along feeling good about my riding even as another biker overtook me. As I turned the corner, Mother Nature slapped me down and reminded me I am not as strong as I appeared. Just as effortlessly as she carried me along the last stretch of road, Ms. Nature stopped me dead in my tracks. I foolishly fought back and I am certain for one full pedal revolution I stood absolutely still. For the thirtysomethings think back to Saturday morning cartoons: there I was just like the Roadrunner speeding along; then, the frame stops, he turns, faces the camera, and the caption appears underneath: Idiovictus Bicyclist.

The Revolution MUST be televised.

21st Century Tortoise and Hare

Here in the Nation's Capital it often feels like my life is defined by Corporate Rat Race traffic. Or rather was, that is, until I became a modern day turtle (bicyclist). Now, I often wonder where all the modern day rabbits (drivers) are 'rushing' off to. Did they mistakenly confuse gridlock with gridiron? Was it the promise of an afternoon of tailgating? What exactly drove those wascally wabbits so fast and furious into the trap of our Nation's Capitol Parking Lot? The same impatient commuters who raged past me, the slow and steady cyclist, now sit herded into a big bunny mass with red beady eyes glaring at the driver behind. This my friends is the Beltway, it ain't FedEx Field, and there ain't no party going on! These snared hares duck and weave their way through off shoots and side streets in an afternoon ritual to achieve this Lot. They speed by crosswalks, fly over speed bumps, and treat red road signs as Stoptionals. Thankfully I survived another day; I'll see you when you get home. "Don't brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the Race".