Friday, December 27, 2013

Illuminating

Well I have now sunk to an all time low. Here, on my bike blog, we have...a car entry. I don't know what to say. I can't possibly have an excuse. I can't even blame the girl.

And I don't know, perhaps it was all those years in the saddle...all the miles on the bike...but that little light of mine, it shined, shined, shined. And then it stopped.

Now I've seen how much those car people charge you for simple little things. Search the blog for 'Honda', specifically 'EX'. And so I'm not sure if you can call me cheap when I tell you my dome light burnt out a few weeks ago and I dragged my feet about replacing it...

...oh hell of course you can call me cheap, I used to break my Q-Tips in half and save them if I only used one side....that's cheap.

But anyway, one of these here replacement bulbs only costs a girl five bucks. I take that back. Technically it's $2.50 if we're counting pennies. NOT that you can buy them that way. They come in a two pack, solely. And again, at the risk of sounding cheap...what a waste! Do I really need two? Unless of course those car people factory installed a plutonium based ultra life bulb when I bought it 14 years ago....and of course charged me $268 for it.

But I can't in this lifetime imagine needing a second bulb. This one lasted 14 years after all! I mean even if you account for all the years it just sat sitting in the driveway untouched and unlit I'd still need to throw down another 150,000 miles...and no offense DAE-Z I ain't trying to keep you that long.

So, I guess I got a bargain. And I know, most cars today probably need two of these things anyway...although really!?! This thing looks like an old carbon-filament bulb made by Mr. Thomas Edison himself...I'm super lucky they even still make them, right?

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Glass Houses? What About BRICK Houses??

I told her. You can't just come up in the city and act any old way you want without consequences. I mean maybe that's something you could do in the country, but up here you need walk the line. Mind your p's (Ripley). Tend your q's (Girl).

But the girl does what she wants. You can try to tell her, but she's always going to do what she wants. And now look. Look what's happened.

That is a brick. A brick from my own house. A brick from her chimney (I also told her we needed repairs). A brick relocated to the driveway, centimeters from my car...with a brand new windshield.

Oh, that's just surface brick she says. It just chipped off the edge of the chimney, she says. Oh really? Really, really? And I suppose you think this has nothing to do with the fact that you are feeding the wild animals in the yard that I told you not to humor. No, of course not.

Yes, that's exactly what I think happened. Those darned squirrels are up on our roof plotting against us for our bird feeding preferences. "Look biotch, I told you we want peanuts. Peanuts, not sunflowers!"

"And what's with this tiny feed," the other one chimes in. "I want me some ears of corn. Do you have any idea how much seed we'll need to shove in our cheeks before we're ready for the winter cold? Ain't nobody got time for that!"

That's when it happens. Them squirrely squirrels chip away at that fireplace chimney with their squirrely-squirrel-claws until a piece breaks loose. Then they laugh and sneer as Cheeks McGee draws his tiny squirrel paws back and hurls his fuzzy-tailed-rat-rage at my Civic. I bet they turn back around and fist bump those tiny fur paws of theirs too. And say, "WHAT!?"

Friday, December 13, 2013

I Resemble That Comment

Once upon a time there was a blog. It went by the name 'Cog Blog'. It was about a girl and her bike.

Day after day the author rode her bike to work and sometimes for fun. She used to post pictures and witticisms about those rides and sometimes had choice words for naughty traffic...especially this time of year.

Then she met a girl. And a dog. And two cats besides her own. Her life became less about bikes and more about picking up shhh...she might hear you.

Yes, once upon a time tires were meant for rolling not throwing. It's true what they say, marriage can change a girl. Now there's no time for riding. There's just walking and throwing. Throwing and walking. Would you want to tell her no?

Alas, there is still a blog. It is just updated less and more about life. Or at least less about angry traffic. Thanks for tuning in and standing by. Maybe soon we can return you to your regularly scheduled program...not currently in progress.