BalancE

"The guy that can only sleep with his girlfriend, help all his friends, and not be frustrated with himself at the same time."

Seriously? I mean really? Can I google that? Order him from Amazon? Bid on it on Ebay?

Are you yanking my chain?! Could that possibly exist? Well I can't wait. Go figure. I will learn to make my own pancakes damn it. Or I will starve. There you have it.

How hard can it be? Wake up, make coffee, flour, milk, eggs. Vanilla. I love vanilla. In my coffee, in my coke, in my pancakes. No fruit, no chocolate, just syrup. Just the way I like it, thank me very much.

Ah, if you want it done, and you want it right...now, learn to make your own pancakes. I get it! And I know. I like them in the morning, after coffee, at my table. Or for dinner, at my table. The table I made myself, metal, screws, wood. Yes, pancakes by myself. Punk you very much!

Wise words, from a Wiseman. Grab a gear and go.... First a few of my own: don't break the cycle, break the chain. And every cyclist knows comfort lies in taking care of the corr.

Wise words, good goals. Bring mug, have coffee...AND TABLE. No scratchy.

Take It To The Bank

I’ve been thinking. About Share the Road and rewarding behavior, like HOV lanes. I came up with a plan. I’d really like to implement it after being damn near sideswiped by a hulking SUV.

It’s the snow. All over my lane. Bulldozed into spaces in the overcrowded parking lots. Cars idling idlely waiting for spots to buy stuff to replace stuff that will end up in land fills. Lonely tailgating; no game, no beer. Just cars circling spots like musical chairs. Not at all green.

Back to the lanes. That one on the right, beware. It may disappear into the salt and pepper, gritty abyss. It should be for slower traffic anyway. Take University or Connecticut, where there are three.

Here’s my plan….keep three lanes, but make that right one small. Keep those gas guzzlers out of my lane! Give it to the bikers, the hybrids (the economy ones), the smart cars. Start making cars smaller and give them a lane!

Oh, but what about the buses? The violent offenders. You have a valid point. They will have to use that lane. But that SUV would have taken off my visor if I had turned my head. No joke.

Well, the plan may have some bugs but think about it. Positive reinforcement is money in the snow bank.

All Flakes Welcome

Careful what you put out there! They just might take you up on it.

PS the bike rack is covered, park where you can.

Still Stationary

What a difference a day makes.

Stationary Bike Redefined.

Like riding a tree through a cornfield.

Grease On Earth

Okay, I found myself in another Hollywood script. Actually the same one, Trading Places.

No credit issues this time, just the rubber hitting the road....or is it the road hitting the rubber??

Picture it: 20 effingham degrees. Frozen tundra. 4am. Dark. Cold. Beyond breezy. L7, cuz no matter how hard I try I just am.

It takes a crazy kind of bravery to pull off a lobster, but I do. I'm not about to wrestle metal for the second day in a row. I nurse the flat. And nurse and nurse and nurse. I'm racing frames...I thought I put those days behind me??

The pump fails. Here's where I re-enter Trading Places. I consider swiping someone's back tire. Really, I did. I mean, who really locks those...usually it's just the front. And I am desperate to get to work. I just need an inflated back wheel.

I'll bring it back. I'll leave mine. Hell, that's a $200 wheel...it just needs a new tube. That's hardly stealing...it's holiday upgrading, tis the season, ho, ho, ho, merry, merry...why you buggin'?

I didn't steal anything. I rode the rim. I am over due to re-tire!

Proof

They don’t get out much, but when they do, they turn heads. My plates, that is. Sincerely, they are the talk of the town. Everyone notices them. Everyone loves them.

They must. Montgomery County loved them so much they took pictures AND sent them to me. Just like marathon proofs.

There wasn’t any line to choose which pictures you wanted but I went ahead and sent my $40 anyway. Maybe I’ll get all three? Come to think of it there wasn’t even a place to choose what size you wanted.

They’re gonna send actual pictures, right? I mean I paid the 40 bucks. Isn’t that how it works?

What the?

4 legs 2 heads.

Downsize

Escort your own self out.